Fear and fear

Well today I drove back from Cornwall to Bournemouth. Today is considered one of the coldest days England has experienced in thirty years; the images of snow, ice and danger that were played in repetition on the news would have you hibernating forever... Still with a little apprehension I ventured onto the roads to find them clear... So had I paid attention to what was on the television I would never have made the journey. Obviously that got me thinking. If I believe what I am told by others - how does that affect my life? Second hand opinions are fascinating when you do not take them personally because you simply become aware of other people issues and fears.

Prior to driving home I was told by numerous people to be careful because it was dangerous. Of course they were looking out for me, but the truth was there was nothing to fear because the roads were clear.

So fear... Fear comes from thoughts which causes your body to make a fight or flight reaction to keep you safe. Fear is interesting because if you live your life by fear you generate more fear. A heart full of fear can not love. So what can you do? Well I personally sat down and faced my fears. I listed everything I feared and did a number of meditations on them specifically. Strangely when I decided to face my fears some rather odd happenings took place... So if you are going to face your fears be prepared. So for example one of my major fears is abandonment - well within the week I was abandoned by a now ex-boyfriend.

Another fear was being out of control - so my car broke down in rush hour on one of the busiest roundabouts in Bournemouth. To make matters worse it was in a heavy down pour. These are to name but a few. Interestingly it was liberating because I recognised my fears and accepted them rather than run away from them... And then what happened? I realised that in our duality, that which we fear we hide within the recesses of our minds... Those fears keep repeating and waving their little flags until we finally face them... I also noticed that a great number of areas of my life are stagnant because of fear. So come the next step... realisation... And the moment you face those fears you realise your mind had blown them out of proportion...

So how do you solve it? Integrate and accept the fears. Essentially they are part of you and the more you deny them the more want attention. Facing them enables you to free yourself up. Once those fears do not have 'power' over you, you are free and available for new experience...

How I approached a fear meditation:

First I noticed the patterns of fear that I repeat. It can be in any part of your life: a relationship, a circumstance or simply something you fear. I listed them down and relaxed into a meditative state by mentally stepping onto a lovely beach. Then one by one I asked each fear to turn up in a form. During the meditation I asked it questions and asked how to release, accept and integrate each of the fears. The answers will be personal to you. Within the meditations I followed the advice... When I came out of the meditation I felt a sense of calm. Nothing miraculous happened; however, I felt that I had changed something.

The next day I was driving and a large spider appeared on my mirror. Rather than scream and slam on the breaks I simply remained calm and accepted it was there... Something had definitely changed!